Pre-Boda

Ellos son Itali y Victor. A Itali la conocí en uno de mis tantos cambios de carrera y de Universidad en el año 2011. Siempre ha sido una chava muy dulce y alegre; la impresión que tengo de ella es la de alguien muy positivo que atrae mucha buena vibra. Inicialmente me contactó para cubrir su boda pero lamentablemente no pude aceptar el trabajo, sin embargo, le ofrecí tomar las fotos de pre-boda y aceptó. 

Victor e Itali se conocieron en el gimnasio. De las cosas de Itali que Victor notó al instante fue el cabello tan largo y bonito que ella tiene. De ahí siguieron platicando y ahora son la pareja tan bonita que ven en las fotos.

Me da mucha satisfacción que la gente que me contacta para que trabaje con ellas se sienta con la confianza sobre mi trabajo.

Hoy (si todo sale bien) tomaré otra sesión pre-boda. Ésta tiene un valor especial para mí porque es una persona que conozco de la preparatoria y le tengo mucho aprecio. Espero poder compartir algunas fotos en estos días. 

Edit: Por alguna razón las fotos no se ven de la calidad que son. Espero poder arreglarlo pronto.

SECOND WEEK AT WORK

This is some of the work I've done at the office. Today was my first official day and it sucked! I didn't do anything only some headshots that I had left to do from Friday (and it was the only fun part of today's job). I talked with one of my co-workers about Doctor Who and that was pretty much it. I spent the whole morning checking Flickr and Facebook; it was a nightmare. I was falling asleep because I only slept like three hours, I was also hungry and bored. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be more profitable (I hope).

Also, I had a very awkward moment with one of my male co-workers. I don't know how to read his attitude but he followed me to were I had my bike and wanted me to go with him to eat lunch. We've only spoken a few times and I've joked around with him a little but I've done that with almost everyone in the office. It was awkward because he's like 18 years old and in the little experience I've had with teenagers and as a former ex-teenager, kids his age are so intense. He said goodbye and then stretched his arms in a very awkward way; he then proceeded to hug me. I was so uncomfortable to be honest, I don't like people to be so close to me especially in a physical way but I didn't want to hurt his feelings or something.

Have you ever had an uncomfortable moment with a co-worker?

PHOTOS THAT REASSURE WHAT I WANT IN LIFE

I'm constantly haunted by the insecurity and violence in my city which at times, influence me to stay at home and do nothing.There's also not a lot of hot spots to visit, so at the end of the day I feel bummed and bored. I take refuge in looking at photos and thinking "Woah, maybe someday I will be able to visit a place like this/do something like this/taste food like this" and I just save those wishes and use them as a triggers for my motivation.

Photo by peter methven

One of the first things I want to take off my list is travel. I want my boyfriend and I to go somewhere, just anywhere. Living in a city like this makes you feel caged at times. I want to know other cities and explore to get to see what it is like to be somewhere else. Learn from other cultures and maybe even another language.

Photo by Hideaki Hamada

I don't want to have kids now but I want to someday. I feel that having a kid it's an adventure on it's own. Getting to teach him/her things, answering their questions, and watching them learn from you and also learning from them. Seeing how ideas grown in them and observing their interpretations and takes on them. I feel that a kid (if you let him/her) can bring a lot of magic into your life.

Photo by S. Tore

Photo by Pat Vogel

Having a nice time with beer or tea. I appreciate having a good talk over beer, coffee or tea mostly because it is always enjoyable to hear wonderful stories while enjoying the wonderful flavor of a good beverage. Over this reunions you get to strenghten relationships and share experiences.

Photo by Tim James

Growing my own garden. Something like this has always made me feel excited. The idea of taking care of plants to get fruits and vegetables is very exciting! I really want to do something like this and be consistent.

These are just of the few things I can think of right now, I will probably keep adding more things to the list and showing examples with photos. I don't know why but I've been planning my life, so it makes me feel excited because now I feel prepared to take all these risks.

NEW

Well, I hate to be changing my blogs all the time. I used to be on Blogger but I'm going to try Wordpress for a while, mainly because I hate the layouts there. I try to make my photos look as perfect as I can, and showcasing them in my blog is extremely important for me. So anyways. August has just begun and it's exciting! Another semester begins with new classes and new people. Everything is new about August and I'm not very sure if I like it or not, but I guess I'm starting to get used to it. 

Just today I finished my training at my new job; I will be one of the photographers and the cartoonist for our university's newspaper. To be honest it's very intimidating because now my photos have a purpose and I'm responsible to deliver them and fill everyone's expectations. 

Today we finally went to our office, which is new, so everything is a mess, but we were all very happy for the space provided to us. It seems that it's going to be nice since most of my co-workers are very nice people (at least the one's I've talked to). So I'm not that intimidated anymore. My boss is a wonderful lady who seems to care a lot about us, she has this motherly attitude that makes me feel very comfortable, even though some people say she's difficult to please, she doesn't seem scary; she just looks like someone who wants to do her job. I don't know, maybe I'm being quick about my observations, but to be honest, I've felt very comfortable around everyone and I'm sure that's a good sign. 

Now that I already experienced what it is to be working, I feel ready to make the next step in my life: moving out of my parents place and be independent. I feel this urge about leaving, getting my life planned and put everything together, but I still need to figure out how and when I will make this decision. Nonetheless, I'm very happy about the confidence that I've gained and the growth I've made as a person. Nowadays I feel more like an adult (even though my room is a mess). I'm encouraging my boyfriend to get a job, I mean, we are two adults in their twenties who still live with their parents and have to report to them everyday. There are many silly rules that get in the way in our relationship most of the time and I'm sick of it, I really want to take the next step in my life and in my relationship with him. 

This is one of my co-workers before taking the staff photos. We were assigned to that task and we got the chance to talk. She's a cool girl.

This is my boyfriend testing his new Konstruktor camera.

He was very excited about it.

Some kids dancing at the park.

I was spying people with my new telephoto.

This is my pal Luna being super cute.

 Her fashion sense is amazing, I love everything about her outfits. This is a beautiful bag that has this hologram. The eye opens and closes depending on how you see it.

More people dancing at the park.

I don't know, lately I've felt like a new person, I feel like I can do many things and I feel very good about myself. Sometimes I feel a little bit depressed though because I want to do such things but I don't know where to begin. I guess I just need a break from all the things I've been doing and try to be out there more often. As a photographer I feel more confident, while I know I'm not the best and that there is a long way for me to feel truly successful, I'm very comfortable with my work. I no longer feel that competitive rage inside of me and I don't care what other people do or don't do. I can appreciate other people's work with honesty and share tips and thoughts about their work or my work. I see other photographers as peers rather than rivals and that takes a HUGE load off my shoulders. I don't feel judged anymore basically because I stopped judging other people. I'm also trying to approach my clients, try to become friends with them or at least know a little bit about themselves, that gives me a lot of confidence and I feel great. I don't know, I really hope this year to end wonderfully. 

GOOD NEWS

Yesterday was kind of a rollercoaster kind of day. I've been trying to push myself into shooting more personal projects without worrying too much about getting paid. I asked a young girl to help me out by modeling for me, we barely know each other and I was super nervous about it. I had something in mind but at the end I ended up getting super nervous. It didn't turn out as I expected but I ended up liking some photos anyways, and I'm happy I forced myself because any type of photoshoot is a new learning experience, no matter how short it is and no matter if the amount of photos you get is big or small.

I was very close to cancel it because just some minutes before leaving home I got an e-mail from the University's Newspaper to which I applied to work at as a photographer or cartoonist and it said to call to the office. Of course I was super nervous, I wanted to throw up. I called and what happened was that I got the two jobs I applied for, now I'm the University's Newspaper photographer and cartoonist. It's a big responsibility! I was so happy and scared at the same time, I started to feel extremely anxious considering that I was already anxious about the photoshoot.Still, I decided to get it over with and I guess nerves took over me to some point that I couldn't focus properly. Anyways, I'm happy about how things are developing and hopefully everything will be better soon.

The beginning of this year was rocky but good overall because I had a job last semester but it didn't turn out to be as good as I thought it was going to be, the good thing was that I had a good paid and I was able to save for my new camera. Prices ended up getting low at the University so I was able to keep some of my money for personal expenses. In short, I'll be able to upgrade my photography gear this year and that makes me very happy. Last year I didn't think I was going to be able to do so, I didn't even think I was going to be able to buy a full frame camera, but apparently things work out if you get over some demons. 

ORIGINAL

I've been struggling lately of who I am as an aspiring photographer. At times I want to work on conceptual photography and other times I just want to focus on what's real. I think these difficulties come from trying to find my own style and producing original things, but, what is original these days? I previously talked about smoke bombs but there are also other elements considered, again, original but they are really not. I'm really not going to make up a huge list and bash every element in it, but what I want to say is that in concepts like "surreal", "fashion", and "conceptual", many of us believe we're going to find what we're looking for. 

A very dear professor once told me and the class that nothing is original anymore and he's right. Everything is made up different things, nothing is unique in it's entirety, but I think we can be considered original and stand out among the croud by taking all these repeated elements and make them our own. With this I don't know if I'm trying to justify my constant blocks, my lack of activity, and selfconsciousness but that's what I have. I've felt immense in real topics, real events, and documentary photography, but I still need to find my muse. 

Coming up with enough courage to leave behind the feelings that stop me from doing what I love is really hard. I guess I'm very hard on other people which automatically makes me insecure. It's true that anything negative you put out there comes back at you with much more power and it is now when I understand it. I'm such a negative person and getting rid of all the negativity in my is going to be hard work; I really don't know where to start. 

But oh well. I'll leave you (to whoever reads this) some photos I took last month. I really enjoyed being there even though I wasn't familiar with the musician's work. His name is Celso Piña and he's very talented. He came to our city to tribute a very dear musician from our community who passed away some years ago. My boyfriend and I went to the event just to get out of routine. I'm so glad we did it and I'm so glad that even though I was afraid of being in such a crowded place with a camera I took it with me anyways.