Childhood is hauting.

To me home is where I find my memories. You know, I've been having the need to travel lately (since I've been 15ish) because whenever I get to read someone's blog or someone's photographs, I always wonder why I was born here in a city where only violence is happening and ephimeral events are held. I mean, I'm tired of seeing the same streets and I could probably go out there and take pictures, I know I haven't explored the whole city but I guess I'm just too scared to go outside with my camera considering México's situation right now, which leads me to my childhood.

I remember when nothing was scary, everything was easy. Playing and running on the streets was the safer option, and probably what most parents wanted for us since TV was most of our entertainment at that time. There was nothing that could haunt me, except for those urban legends your older siblings/cousins/even parents told us, like "be careful because the crazy man will take you away" and we would all hide under a table everytime a homeless person passed by, which was cruel now that I recall. 

My happiest memories are from the house I currently live in. Before it was my home, my grandmother and aunt used to live here, then we built a new home, and we moved in with them. I was so happy when I was a kid, playing in the backyard, climbing trees, playing with mud, or filling up buckets to play with water; everything was so innocent back then. I don't know, I guess I'm having a glimpse of what's coming ahed with adulthood. Now that I now what it feels like taking care of a child (my baby niece), I guess I'm aware of all the responsibilities I'll have to take in a couple of years and I'm not only talking about kids (I might wait at least 8 years for that).

I just don't want to leave this house and at the same time I want get the hell out of here as fast as I can and it's all because of the city, I hate the city, I hate the people; everyone's so rude at times I just wish I could say something but that might get me dead. I don't know how to deal with these mixed feelings, all I can hope is for my city to become safer and nicer I guess, but I have the feeling it might take long before that happens.

How do you deal with early homesickness?