the year began and i didn't even notice. it's been a while since i've felt that excitement of new year's coming and i think it might be because of my lack of dedication in my projects. it only makes sense, right? but it's just that i fantasize of a life i can't have and i feel stuck in this city; in this dangerous city. i know many people who go out even though the situation in here is not very good but i'm a coward. my life revolves around my camera so much that sometimes i don't feel like going nowhere because i won't be able to photograph something. i suck. i'll do my best though, i'll try to regain confidence and take more risks.
a couple of days ago my boyfriend and i took a lot of photos while taking a walk. it was refreshing. and i realized that i want to work more on personal stuff, i also realize that i really want to have kids. i've been thinking that people handle motherhood as something stressful capable of crushing your dreams but somehow i feel that having kids, at least for me, will only make me want to work more. i don't mind staying home, watching a movie or just telling stories, it's basically the lifestyle i have right now. but i know how lacking i am of resources, of money, and basically everything, there's no way i can have a kid right now, well, support a baby in any way, but that's a plan for the future.
