THE YEAR BEGAN

the year began and i didn't even notice. it's been a while since i've felt that excitement of new year's coming and i think it might be because of my lack of dedication in my projects. it only makes sense, right? but it's just that i fantasize of a life i can't have and i feel stuck in this city; in this dangerous city. i know many people who go out even though the situation in here is not very good but i'm a coward. my life revolves around my camera so much that sometimes i don't feel like going nowhere because i won't be able to photograph something. i suck. i'll do my best though, i'll try to regain confidence and take more risks. 

a couple of days ago my boyfriend and i took a lot of photos while taking a walk. it was refreshing. and i realized that i want to work more on personal stuff, i also realize that i really want to have kids. i've been thinking that people handle motherhood as something stressful capable of crushing your dreams but somehow i feel that having kids, at least for me, will only make me want to work more. i don't mind staying home, watching a movie or just telling stories, it's basically the lifestyle i have right now. but i know how lacking i am of resources, of money, and basically everything, there's no way i can have a kid right now, well, support a baby in any way, but that's a plan for the future. 

stars and lights

i had the opportunity to do some shots for this wonderful girl who's beautiful but whose personality is as beautiful as she is. again, because of my work schedule i had to split her session in two (something i don't dislike really). we shot some photos at downtown and others at a park. i got to experiment with reflectors and prisms. i'm happy because little by little i feel that i have better understanding of light. 

hopefully in the next couple of days i will be able to shoot something personal and start writing like a journal. that would be nice and therapeutic in these times of stress. 

NEW PROJECTS

so, i haven't got much time to post lately but i'll try, i'll try. sometimes i feel like writing in spanish, sometimes i feel like writing in english, so bear with me. i got to shoot these photos with a beautiful girl. we had to split the photoshoot because the first day it rained on us. it was the first session i had in a long time with just one person since i began working and it was weird but fun. i noticed i gained some confidence and that i can actually direct my clients in order to get natural but posed shots. i don't want to rely a lot in spontainety because some people are actually very shy, so i try to be in between, i tell them to pose and then i say something to break them, and that's how i get some of the shots. this one had both spontaneous and posed photos, but that's okay, i ended up liking the photos and she loved them. my approach was more of a fashion photography kind of thing, although i know i'm far from having photos like that, i'm pleased with the results because it's a part of photography i didn't explore before this photoshoot.

i'm feeling much better every day in regards of what i do and i'm sure this is what i want to do for a living. i'm trying to balance myself between my job and my photography job but it's hard. i have to postpone many appointments and sessions with clients but hopefully that will change next semester; i'll see how it goes.

Pre-Boda

Ellos son Itali y Victor. A Itali la conocí en uno de mis tantos cambios de carrera y de Universidad en el año 2011. Siempre ha sido una chava muy dulce y alegre; la impresión que tengo de ella es la de alguien muy positivo que atrae mucha buena vibra. Inicialmente me contactó para cubrir su boda pero lamentablemente no pude aceptar el trabajo, sin embargo, le ofrecí tomar las fotos de pre-boda y aceptó. 

Victor e Itali se conocieron en el gimnasio. De las cosas de Itali que Victor notó al instante fue el cabello tan largo y bonito que ella tiene. De ahí siguieron platicando y ahora son la pareja tan bonita que ven en las fotos.

Me da mucha satisfacción que la gente que me contacta para que trabaje con ellas se sienta con la confianza sobre mi trabajo.

Hoy (si todo sale bien) tomaré otra sesión pre-boda. Ésta tiene un valor especial para mí porque es una persona que conozco de la preparatoria y le tengo mucho aprecio. Espero poder compartir algunas fotos en estos días. 

Edit: Por alguna razón las fotos no se ven de la calidad que son. Espero poder arreglarlo pronto.

SECOND WEEK AT WORK

This is some of the work I've done at the office. Today was my first official day and it sucked! I didn't do anything only some headshots that I had left to do from Friday (and it was the only fun part of today's job). I talked with one of my co-workers about Doctor Who and that was pretty much it. I spent the whole morning checking Flickr and Facebook; it was a nightmare. I was falling asleep because I only slept like three hours, I was also hungry and bored. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be more profitable (I hope).

Also, I had a very awkward moment with one of my male co-workers. I don't know how to read his attitude but he followed me to were I had my bike and wanted me to go with him to eat lunch. We've only spoken a few times and I've joked around with him a little but I've done that with almost everyone in the office. It was awkward because he's like 18 years old and in the little experience I've had with teenagers and as a former ex-teenager, kids his age are so intense. He said goodbye and then stretched his arms in a very awkward way; he then proceeded to hug me. I was so uncomfortable to be honest, I don't like people to be so close to me especially in a physical way but I didn't want to hurt his feelings or something.

Have you ever had an uncomfortable moment with a co-worker?

PHOTOS THAT REASSURE WHAT I WANT IN LIFE

I'm constantly haunted by the insecurity and violence in my city which at times, influence me to stay at home and do nothing.There's also not a lot of hot spots to visit, so at the end of the day I feel bummed and bored. I take refuge in looking at photos and thinking "Woah, maybe someday I will be able to visit a place like this/do something like this/taste food like this" and I just save those wishes and use them as a triggers for my motivation.

Photo by peter methven

One of the first things I want to take off my list is travel. I want my boyfriend and I to go somewhere, just anywhere. Living in a city like this makes you feel caged at times. I want to know other cities and explore to get to see what it is like to be somewhere else. Learn from other cultures and maybe even another language.

Photo by Hideaki Hamada

I don't want to have kids now but I want to someday. I feel that having a kid it's an adventure on it's own. Getting to teach him/her things, answering their questions, and watching them learn from you and also learning from them. Seeing how ideas grown in them and observing their interpretations and takes on them. I feel that a kid (if you let him/her) can bring a lot of magic into your life.

Photo by S. Tore

Photo by Pat Vogel

Having a nice time with beer or tea. I appreciate having a good talk over beer, coffee or tea mostly because it is always enjoyable to hear wonderful stories while enjoying the wonderful flavor of a good beverage. Over this reunions you get to strenghten relationships and share experiences.

Photo by Tim James

Growing my own garden. Something like this has always made me feel excited. The idea of taking care of plants to get fruits and vegetables is very exciting! I really want to do something like this and be consistent.

These are just of the few things I can think of right now, I will probably keep adding more things to the list and showing examples with photos. I don't know why but I've been planning my life, so it makes me feel excited because now I feel prepared to take all these risks.